Every Dollar I Spent Was Me Trying To Feel Accepted

When Money Means Fitting In

I used to tell myself I had good reasons for buying the newest sneakers, upgrading my phone before the old one broke, and always picking up the tab when friends were around. It wasn’t greed. It wasn’t even pride.

It was belonging.

But let’s call it what it really was: approval chasing. Masked as generosity. Dressed up as ambition. Covered by every purchase I made to feel just a little more wanted.

Every dollar I spent was me trying to feel accepted. And I didn’t even realize it until the money was gone, the friendships were flimsy, and I still felt empty.

---

The High of Being Liked (And the Crash That Follows)

Have you ever done something just to be liked?

Not because it aligned with your values. Not because it helped you grow. But because in that moment, you were just hoping to be seen?

I have. Plenty of times. And if you’re honest with yourself, you probably have too.

Buying into popularity can feel like a quick high. A short burst of “I matter.” But the crash comes fast, and it comes with consequences. You wake up the next day with less money in your account and the same hole in your chest.

Nothing truly changed. Except your balance. And maybe your peace.

---

The Popular Kid Paradox

The childhood popular kid could be a blessing while you’re in that moment. Or a curse when you’re out of that moment.

That kid teaches you the art of attention. The skill of presentation. But they also teach you something dangerous if you’re not careful: the belief that validation has to be earned through performance, not presence.

And that belief sticks.

It grows into adult decisions that look like financial freedom on the outside but are actually emotional spending wrapped in insecurity.

---

What I Bought Trying to Be Enough

I once dropped over $500 on a weekend getaway I didn’t even enjoy. I’ve financed clothes to keep up appearances and said yes to dinners I couldn’t afford.

But it wasn’t about the event. It was about the image.

I was spending to prove I belonged.

The worst part? No one was asking me to. I created my own pressure. And I paid for it with my money, my peace, and my self-worth.

Trying to keep up with popularity or trying to fit in could get expensive and leave you with less money and inadequate wisdom of truth.

When your purchases are fueled by insecurity, they don’t just hurt your wallet. They hurt your identity.

---

The Lie That Tells You to Keep Swiping

There’s a lie we’ve all heard, and maybe even believed:
“If I look the part, I’ll feel the part.”

But appearance without alignment is just a costume. You can wear the trendiest outfit, drive the nicest car, and still feel completely alone because none of that fixes what’s happening inside.

The truth? Real belonging doesn’t require branding. It doesn’t ask you to buy your way in. And the right people won’t care how much you spent. They’ll care how much you showed up.

---

A Missed Reflection and Missed Security

Sometimes the purchases aren’t even big. It’s the small, daily ones that add up: $14 cocktail to be seen, overpriced subscriptions you don’t use, gifts you give just so no one thinks you’re “cheap.”

But here’s what gets missed in the process:

• The reflection. The chance to ask why you’re really buying this.

• The security. The peace of knowing your money is aligned with your values, not your wounds.

In trying to impress others, we often rob ourselves of future options. That dinner you didn’t want to attend? That $75 could’ve gone toward debt or savings. Instead, it bought a two-hour performance.

A temporary “yes” at the cost of your long-term freedom.

---

Honestly, The Void Is Still There

In the truth, we know you wake up feeling just the same.

The shoes don’t fix the sadness. The brunch doesn’t heal the loneliness. The applause fades.

That missed void didn’t get answered by trying to do things for others.

You’re still left with the same questions. The same ache. Because buying love, acceptance, or status is a deal that never truly closes. And the receipt always comes with regret.

---

So What Do You Do Instead?

Start by noticing the feeling before the purchase.

Ask yourself:

• Am I buying this because I value it?

• Or because I hope it’ll make someone value me?

There’s a huge difference. And learning to pause before you spend can save you more than money. It can save your identity from being built around someone else’s approval.

Then, look at your spending with curiosity, not shame. Your financial behavior tells a story. Get honest about yours.

---

Who Are You Without the Performance?

What if you didn’t have to “earn” your place by spending?

What if you stopped auditioning and started aligning?

Here’s what I’ve learned:
The people worth keeping will never require you to go broke trying to keep them.

They’ll see your worth when you have less. They’ll value your time more than your tab. They’ll celebrate you not for what you have, but for who you are when you’re not performing.

---

Subscribe to Money Tips Money Hacks for deeper dives into the psychology of money, emotional spending, and mindset shifts that lead to real transformation. New posts every Monday and Wednesday.

---

You’re Not Alone. But You Do Have a Choice.

I wrote this not to shame you, but to share the mirror I had to hold up to myself.

I was tired of trying to buy belonging.

Tired of the emotional hangover that came with every swipe.

Tired of trading peace for popularity.

And I wanted different.

So I started asking better questions. I gave myself permission to disappoint others if it meant honoring my financial reality. I stopped apologizing for boundaries. I stopped spending for applause.

You can too.

---

What Would Change If You Spent for You?

Think about it:

• How much money would you still have if you only spent to serve your values?

• How much peace would you carry if your purchases matched your truth?

• How much confidence would you build if you didn’t need to prove anything anymore?

It starts with one decision: to stop buying into belonging.

And to start believing you’re enough, even if all you do today is keep your money in your pocket and your dignity intact.

That’s real wealth.

And it’s already yours to claim.

❤️ If you find this helpful, leave a heart and share to support my work!

---

Cervante Burrell, M.Ed., CFEI®, is the founder of Money Tips Money Hacks, a financial wellness educator, husband, and proud father dedicated to helping others thrive financially from the inside out.

Start spending in alignment with who you are, what you value, and the life you’re actually building.

The Psychology of Your Spending guide shows you how. Coming September 22nd, 2025.