You probably don’t realize it.
It shows up when you're scanning Amazon at midnight.
It lingers in the background when you're comparing brands at the grocery store, frozen in front of the yogurt section.
It hides behind that “treat yourself” moment, right before you click Add to Cart.
Financial fear.
It’s quiet. It’s subtle. But it’s there.
Not the kind of fear that yells. Not the panic of unpaid bills or collectors calling. No, this fear is soft spoken. It disguises itself as logic, self-control, or even rebellion. It doesn't just live in bank accounts. It lives in everyday choices. It shows up in the checkout line, in birthday gifts, in skipped coffees, in purchases we justify or avoid without really knowing why.
You might be thinking, “But I’m fine. I have a budget. I’m responsible.”
I’m not questioning your responsibility. I’m inviting you to look deeper.
Because underneath so many of our financial decisions is a story. One we may not even know we’re telling ourselves.
A Grocery Store Confession
A while back, I found myself overanalyzing the difference between the name-brand and store-brand orange juice. It was a difference of $1.79.
Not a big deal, right?
But suddenly, it felt like a big deal. I started doing mental math about what else I had to pay for that week. I imagined surprise expenses for my daughter. I pictured my future.
That’s when I caught myself.
It wasn’t about the orange juice. It was about fear.
Fear that I wouldn't have enough.
Fear that I was being irresponsible.
Fear that I was going to mess up, again.
This wasn’t about my cash flow. This was about my belief system.
And that’s the thing. Financial fear doesn’t always look like someone maxing out credit cards. Sometimes it looks like someone staring at orange juice, trying not to spiral.
Where Financial Fear Hides
Fear is sneaky. It doesn’t come out with a flashing neon sign that says, “Hey, I’m financial trauma!” It tiptoes in, borrowing the voice of a parent, a past mistake, or a fear of judgment.
Here are just a few ways it might be showing up:
You tell yourself you “can’t afford it,” even when you technically can.
You overspend to prove you’re not poor, even when your bank account is screaming for you to chill.
You under-tip out of anxiety, then feel guilty the whole drive home.
You hoard rewards points or gift cards because using them feels unsafe.
You avoid checking your account balance, even though it’s fine.
Financial fear doesn’t always make sense. That’s why it’s so powerful. It operates in the background, subtly shaping your behavior while you convince yourself it’s just about being smart or cautious or tired.
The Roots Run Deep
Keep it real. Most of us didn’t grow up with emotionally healthy conversations about money.
Maybe you saw your parents argue about it.
Maybe you were told not to ask questions.
Maybe you were praised for being “low maintenance” or guilted for wanting too much.
Over time, these messages harden. They form patterns. And those patterns become your default setting.
You don’t even realize it’s happening until you’re in your thirties, choosing a cheaper entrée at dinner not because you want it, but because the more expensive one makes you feel… wrong.
It’s not really about the dollars. It’s about what the dollars represent.
The Most Dangerous Part? You Think It’s Normal.
That’s the trap.
You get so used to the background hum of financial fear that it becomes part of your identity. You call it being smart. You call it “just how I am.”
But what if it’s not?
What if that quiet anxiety around spending isn’t who you are, but a wound that never healed?
What if the shame you carry about past financial choices isn’t proof that you’re bad with money, but a sign you’ve never been taught how to feel safe with it?
So What Do You Do With This?
This isn’t where I wrap it up with three easy tips and a worksheet.
Not yet.
Because this post isn’t the solution. It’s the mirror.
I want you to start noticing. Just noticing.
Not fixing. Not rushing.
Notice what happens in your body when you spend money.
Notice the thoughts that come up when you don’t.
Notice who you become when money is involved.
That’s the real money work.
It’s not just about budgets and spreadsheets. It’s about your nervous system. Your past. Your identity.
And once you start paying attention, you’ll see the patterns.
Once you name the fear, it starts to lose power.
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You’re Not Alone
If any of this hits, I want you to know something:
You’re not broken.
You’re not behind.
You’re not alone.
We’re all carrying some kind of financial story.
And we’re allowed to rewrite it.
Not overnight.
Not perfectly.
But intentionally.
And I hope this moment, right here, is where that process quietly begins.
Not with a bang.
But with a breath.
You deserve to feel safe with money.
You deserve to trust yourself again.
And maybe, just maybe, it starts with noticing how you feel the next time you’re standing in front of the orange juice.
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Cervante Burrell, M.Ed., CFEI®, is the founder of Money Tips Money Hacks, a financial wellness educator, husband, and proud father dedicated to helping others thrive financially from the inside out.
How can a person start to heal that spending wound? how can they decrease that anxiety and fear?
OK, but what about those of us who really don’t have enough money and really do have to economize relentlessly?