If you had asked me five years ago about my relationship with money, I would’ve told you I was doing “okay.” I was managing (kind of), hustling hard, and always looking for the next big opportunity. But beneath the surface, my relationship with money was rooted in fear, scarcity, and self-doubt.
I didn’t realize it then, but the way I thought about money was shaping every financial decision I made, from what I earned to how I spent, saved, and gave. I wasn’t just managing money. I was managing my beliefs about what I thought I deserved.
Looking back, these 10 mindset shifts changed everything. Not just my bank balance, but my peace, my priorities, and my sense of purpose.
1. I stopped chasing money and started attracting it
For a long time, I was running full speed toward more money, thinking if I just worked harder, stayed up later, and said yes to more gigs, I’d finally feel secure. But the more I chased money, the more exhausted and empty I felt.
One day, I asked myself a hard question: What am I actually chasing—money or meaning?
That’s when I started focusing on becoming a person who money flows to, not someone constantly chasing it. I focused on alignment, not hustle. I looked for work that felt like purpose, not punishment. Slowly, money stopped feeling like a finish line I had to sprint to and more like a resource I could invite into my life by being intentional.
What to do: Start identifying work that aligns with your values, not just your bills. Ask yourself weekly: “Does this opportunity feed my purpose or just my anxiety?” Practice saying no to things that pay but drain you. Say yes to what feels aligned—even if it pays less at first.
2. I believed I deserved it
This was big time.
I used to think wealth was for “other people.” The kind of people with family trust funds, big networks, or fancy titles. I believed in hard work, sure, but deep down, I didn’t fully believe I was worthy of abundance.
When I started healing my money wounds and rewriting those limiting beliefs, everything changed. I started saying things like:
“I am capable of managing more money.”
“I am worthy of earning more without burning out.”
“I deserve ease, joy, and overflow.”
This wasn’t about ego. It was about embracing self-worth. And when I believed I deserved it, I started making decisions that aligned with that truth.
What to do: Write down three affirmations and say them out loud every morning. Example: “I am worthy of earning and keeping money with ease.”
Look in the mirror when you say it. Belief builds with repetition.
3. I started giving thanks for what I had
Gratitude sounds simple, but it’s one of the most powerful financial tools I’ve ever used.
There were seasons I didn’t have much. But I started practicing the habit of giving thanks for what I did have, my talents, my progress, my next meal, my resilience.
And the wild part? The more I gave thanks, the more I received. I stopped living in lack and started noticing abundance in small places. Gratitude didn’t just change my mood. It changed how I managed my money. I became less impulsive and more intentional.
Money no longer felt like something to fear. It became something to steward.
What to do: Create a monthly Gratitude Day—write down 3 things you're grateful for related to money or resources you already have. Do this once a month for 6 months. Watch how your awareness shifts from lack to abundance.
4. I learned that earning more wasn’t the same as feeling secure
I thought hitting a certain income level would give me peace. It didn’t.
Because financial security isn’t just about how much you earn. It’s about how you manage what you earn and how safe you feel in your choices.
I’ve met people making six figures who feel broke and people making half that who feel financially free. The difference is often mindset, that’s it.
So I stopped obsessing over the number and started focusing on creating systems, buffers, and habits that actually made me feel in control. That’s where the real security lives.
What to do: Set up a simple system: emergency fund, automatic savings, and weekly money check-ins. Security comes from structure, not salary. Track your spending to build control and peace of mind.
5. I made peace with past money mistakes
Guilt will keep you down.
For years, I replayed old decisions: the credit card debt, the pointless spending, the loans I could’ve avoided. I wore shame like a badge.
But honestly, beating yourself up doesn’t pay the bills. I had to forgive myself, learn the lesson, and move forward.
When I finally released the shame, I freed up energy to build something better. You can’t grow if you’re still punishing yourself for what you didn’t know and can’t change.
What to do: Write a forgiveness letter to your past self. Name the mistakes. Thank yourself for surviving them. Then rip it up or keep it as a reminder of how far you’ve come. Healing clears the path forward.
6. I defined wealth for myself
I used to think wealth meant flashy cars, luxury trips, and a huge house. But that was someone else’s dream, not mine.
Today, wealth looks like time freedom, healthy meals, work I love, being able to help my family, and going to sleep without anxiety about bills.
When I defined wealth for me, I stopped comparing and started building with clarity. The goal wasn’t more. It was enough of what mattered.
What to do: Make a list called “My Version of Wealth.” Include things like time with family, slow mornings, or work you love. Post it somewhere visible so you stop chasing what isn’t yours to chase.
7. I realized scarcity thinking was holding me back
I used to hoard, stress, and save with a sense of panic, thinking money was always about to disappear. That fear-based mentality had me stuck. I was playing defense instead of offense.
Eventually, I realized that an abundance mindset isn’t about reckless spending. It’s about trusting that resources flow to people who manage them well.
I started seeing opportunities where I once saw limits. That shift opened doors I didn’t even know existed.
What to do: Notice your internal money talk this week. Every time you think “I can’t afford that,” ask: “Is that really true or just my fear talking?” Shift from “I can’t” to “How could I make this possible?”
8. I started talking about money openly
For most of my life, money was a taboo subject. I didn’t grow up having healthy financial conversations. Everything was either hush-hush or emotionally charged.
But silence keeps you stuck. So I began talking to a mentor. I asked questions. I got real.
Talking about money gave me language, confidence, and insight. It made money feel less scary and more like something I could master.
What to do: Choose one trusted person this week—a friend, partner, mentor—and start a real conversation about money. Ask how they learned about money growing up. Share one thing you're working on. Vulnerability opens doors.
9. I let go of the need to look “successful”
Some of my worst money decisions came from trying to look like I had it all together. New sneakers every month, upgraded phones I didn’t need, weekend getaways just to post about them. None of it brought real joy.
When I let go of appearances and focused on alignment, I stopped spending to impress and started spending to invest in myself, my future, and my values.
Freedom is more important than a flex. Every time.
What to do: Do a “Why Did I Buy This?” audit of your last 5 non-essential purchases. Ask: “Did I buy this for me or for appearances?” That awareness alone will shift your next decision.
10. I treat money like a relationship, not a transaction
This was probably the most profound shift of all.
Money isn’t just numbers. It’s emotional. It’s tied to our identity, our past, our fears, and our dreams.
When I stopped treating money like a cold transaction and started seeing it as a relationship to be nurtured, things changed. I check in regularly. I course-correct. I listen to what my spending habits are telling me.
And just like in any healthy relationship, the more respect and clarity I bring, the more trust and growth I receive in return.
What to do: Schedule a “money date” with yourself once a week.
Check your balances, review goals, and ask: “How do I feel about how I’m using my money?” Build a relationship based on honesty and care.
These mindset shifts didn’t happen overnight. They came through trial, error, reflection, and a lot of unlearning. But they’re the foundation of my financial wellness today.
I’m not perfect. I still slip into old patterns sometimes. But now, I have tools, beliefs, and habits that keep me grounded.
If you’re on your own money journey, I hope one of these shifts sparks something in you. Because you deserve peace, freedom, and abundance, not someday, but starting now.
Money isn’t just about dollars. It’s about mindset. And when you change your mind, you change your money.
Subscribe to finally move from knowing better to feeling better about money.
Excellent. Absolutely excellent. Thank you.
1st one’s a banger. Stop chasing money. Become valuable and money will chase you.