You’re standing in your kitchen with an unopened package and a weird mix of emotions.
You were so excited when you ordered it. It felt like a win, finally, something for you. But now it’s here. And instead of joy, there’s this low feeling of regret.
Ever been there?
We don’t talk about this enough. The way spending can become a coping mechanism that doesn’t always feel like one. It looks harmless, even productive. A new outfit for confidence. A new gadget for comfort. A new skincare routine to feel like you’re putting your life back together.
But underneath it?
A silent search for relief. For control. For something to soothe the parts of you that feel worn out, invisible, or anxious.
That’s where “retail therapy” comes in.
It’s the perfectly marketed fix for the modern soul: Buy something. Feel better. Repeat.
But here’s the thing they don’t tell you—
Retail therapy isn’t actually therapy.
It’s a distraction. And the relief it gives you? It’s real—but temporary. Like a sugar rush that leaves you crashing. Hard.
So why do we keep doing it?
That’s the question I want to sit with today. Not to judge it. Not to shame it. Just to get curious about it.
Because behind every impulsive checkout is a story. And maybe if we listen closer, we’ll stop chasing the receipt and start chasing something that actually lasts.
It Starts Innocently Enough
It’s not always triggered by something dramatic. Sometimes it’s boredom. Sometimes it’s scrolling late at night. Sometimes it’s just that feeling like the day took more out of you than it gave back.
And you think: “I deserve this.”
You do. But let’s pause right there.
Do you deserve the item? Or do you deserve to feel better?
Because those aren’t the same thing.
But they get tangled up, especially when life feels like a blur of pressure, noise, and never enough time to check in with yourself.
So you open the app. You swipe. You click. And for a few minutes, you get something that feels like agency. Like a moment of control in a world that often feels out of your hands.
But here’s the thing: you’re spending to reclaim yourself—by giving something else power over your mood.
Strange, right?
It Feels Like a Win… Until It Doesn’t
Let’s talk about what happens after.
The rush fades. The box arrives. Maybe you open it, maybe it sits there unopened while your brain quietly processes the aftermath.
The excitement starts to feel hollow. Your bank account is a little lighter. You’re still tired. Still stressed. Still searching.
And here’s the wild part
Sometimes the thing you bought becomes a reminder of how bad you felt when you bought it. So now it’s not just clutter. It’s emotional residue.
No one talks about that part.
No one warns you that the real price of emotional spending isn’t just financial. It’s emotional residue that lingers.
It’s Not About Discipline. It’s About Awareness.
You don’t need more self-control. You don’t need a tighter budgeting app. You need to notice what you’re really craving when you click “buy now.”
Because it’s almost never about the item.
It’s about what you hope that item will shift in you.
Confidence. Calm. Connection. Escape. Joy.
The product is just a proxy for the feeling.
So what if you could go straight to the source? What if, instead of outsourcing your relief, you started reclaiming it? What if the most powerful thing you did this week was not checkout, but check in?
That’s the heart of this conversation.
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What If There’s a Better Kind of Therapy?
Let me be clear. I’m not anti-shopping. I love a good splurge now and then. Joyful spending is part of a financially free life.
But what if there’s a difference between spending that supports your healing—and spending that hides your pain?
That’s what I want you to sit with.
Not to feel bad about past purchases. But to get curious about future ones.
What if next time you paused, not to say no, but to ask why?
What if you built in new rituals for relief?
Not perfect ones. Not ones that check all the boxes.
Just honest ones. Ones that actually meet the need you’re trying to fill.
A five-minute walk. A voice note to a friend. A journal prompt. A deep breath. A drink of water. A playlist. A prayer.
You don’t need to earn rest, beauty, or joy. But you do owe yourself something more honest than a temporary high.
You Deserve More Than a Tracking Number
Here’s what I want you to hear:
The version of you who spends to feel better isn’t broken.
They’re trying to cope the only way they know how.
But there’s another version of you, quieter, deeper, who doesn’t need more stuff to feel whole.
That version of you is asking better questions.
Not “What can I buy to fix this?”
But “What is this moment really asking of me?”
And the more you start asking that question, the more powerful you become.
That’s not something you’ll find in a cart.
That’s something you find in yourself.
❤️ If you find this helpful, leave a heart and share to support my work!
Cervante Burrell, M.Ed., CFEI®, is the founder of Money Tips Money Hacks, a financial wellness educator, husband, and proud father dedicated to helping others thrive financially from the inside out.
Start spending in alignment with who you are, what you value, and the life you’re actually building.
The Psychology of Your Spending guide shows you how. Coming September 22nd, 2025.
This was just what I needed to hear. Thank you 😀
Love this! Thank you.